大概在N年多前，我就有一个想法，要用日志的形式来记叙自己的天路历程。曾经在自己的电脑上坚持了一段时间，可惜后来因为搬迁和工作繁忙，就将这事搁置下来了(如果想知道我在地上的工作，请访问我的工作主页)。
再者，这些年来与人讨论有关生命永恒的问题时，经常有一些体会想要与大家分享，但总有各种的阻碍，未能成文。我希望这个博客，能够督促我。当然，我更需要弟兄姐妹替我祈祷，让我有时间和智慧来写一些对自己和对大家都有益的东西。唯愿上帝能够使用这个小小的空间来荣耀他自己的名！
请双击欣赏歌曲
耶和华我的主啊！
求你使我放下心中，放下心中所爱。
耶和华我的主啊！
求你使我打碎心中，心中偶像。
直到我在敬拜中献上自己为祭，
无怨无悔永不回头。
直到我在祭坛那里得着命定，
无怨无悔我在这里。
Hi-Ne-Ni, Hi-Ne-Ni, 烧我，差我，我在这里。
Hi-Ne-Ni, Hi-Ne-Ni, 烧我，差我，我在这里。
为这世界黑暗的角落我在这里,
为那不曾被安慰的灵魂我在这里,
Hi-Ne-Ni, 我在这里，Hi-Ne-Ni。
Hi-Ne-Ni （我在这里）
What I don't say in the classroom
I appreciate this opportunity to be here to share my Christian faith. It is not only very important to my personal life and my family life but also influences everything I do as a professor.
I used to keep silent about my Christian faith in the classroom. Recently, in the
I used to keep silent about my Christian faith in the classroom. Recently, in the beginning of a class, I will mention that I am a Christian and encourage students to let me know any unchristian behavior during my interactions with them. However, there are many things left unsaid such as why did I become a Christian, How does Christianity fit into what I do and believe as an engineering professor.
I came to the United States from Mainland China in 1998. Like some of my fellow Chinese in the audience, I was an atheist because I was brought up and educated in an anti-God environment. Any idea I had about God came from fairytales. When I came here, my atheistic mindset was challenged in many directions. First, there were clear evidences that God exists in the real life of this country: frequently used church buildings, devout Christians who are nobody or somebody, and even the currency we use daily. Second, my involvement in a car accident back in 1999 led me to fortunately realize the sad fact that I am not the controller of my life. My life is so fragile that I can die in a split second. Third, I did not know how to get along with my wife. I can reason well, of course in Chinese, and have no difficulty in understanding complex equations and sophisticated computer programs, but I did have difficulty in communicating with my wife. I could not find satisfactory answers for all these observations, which made me to think critically about my old worldview: maybe God is real, maybe the world is not formed by matter only, maybe there is a supernatural being commands my destiny, maybe people cannot be simply understood through logic, words, there might be a thing called soul. The real change happened in the Thanksgiving of 1999 when I was listening to a sermon on a parable told by Jesus. A rich man had good harvest and he did not have enough places to store his crops. He thought to build bigger barns to store all his grains and goods. And then he said to himself “You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy, eat, drink and be happy. ” But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ I was not rich but I was certainly a fool because I did not know that it is futile for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? At that very moment, I decided to open my heart to God and invited Him to become my Lord. Looking back, it is the best decision I had ever made in my life. As I often shared with others, my biggest accomplishment in the past thirteen years in United States is knowing the only true God, my Creator and His son Jesus Christ, my savior. In fact, it is not what I achieved, but a gift from God, which is also available to every one of you here.
Regarding how Christianity fits into what I do and believe as an engineering professor, let me quote from C.S. Lewis: I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen -- not only because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else". In other words, my Christian faith is foundational, even far more foundational than thermodynamics laws, to what I do and believe as a professor. We are in a university. Her mission should be to seek unity among diversities. What is the unifying truth underlying all the knowledge, the methods, and life styles we are pursuing here? Bible tells us that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ. Jesus himself said: “I am the way and the truth and the life”. Because God is the Creator who created us in his own image, we as engineers can create and invent. Because God ordained natural laws, we can find these laws and formulate them; Because God commanded us as stewards of his creation, we are motivated to understand, and take care of the environment. Because God is logos, we can reason logically and develop theories for predictions. Basically speaking, Christianity not only provides me a new view of life but also provides me a completely intelligible framework for academic teaching and research.
Finally, the most important part of being a Christian, according to my understanding, is the commitment to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Although I am a professor at USU, it is not my main duty. I am assigned by God to be a witness of Jesus Christ in academia for His glory and His purpose, only. And this is the reason why I am here tonight.
引往能力之路 （读书笔记）
刚看完陶恕的引往能力之路。以下是我的简单笔记：
１。属灵能力：
是一种可以造成伟大的圣洁的品性的能力；
是一种属灵的恩膏，使我们的敬拜有属天的滋味，使我们的聚会因神的同在而芬芳甜蜜；
是一种属天的品质，这种品质能够清楚的显明我们是属于神的一群；
是使神的工作大有功效的能力；
是神的感动力。它能摇撼人的心灵，是听道的人真实悔改相信基督。
２。神的方面和人的方面：要得着神所应许的能力，我们需要了解哪些是神的工作，哪些是人的工作。救赎只有神能完成，与任何人的努力无关。但在救赎在个人身上发生功效之前，必需有人的行动，包括：
神不能替人悔改：没有悔改的信心是虚的。神不能代替我们悔改。神可以为我们预备悔改的路，圣灵可以帮助我们悔改，但我们必须自己悔改，转离自己从前一切神不喜悦的言行以及思想意念。这是人必须有的道德责任。
神不能替人相信：信心是神的礼物，但我们必须按信心行动。没有行为的信心是死的。真正的信心有要求我们改变对神的态度，我们不是只在头脑里承认神是可信靠的，而是实在信靠他的应许，遵行他的命令。
人必须先悔改然后相信，然后神才按照他自己的应许赐下救恩，我们才有开始得着能力的可能。
3 顺服的果子
顺服二字有三种意义：诚恳地注意神的话，向其权威屈膝，实行其吩咐。
顺服不能与守律法或积功德混为一谈，我们也不能因为热切的想弃绝律法主义，连顺服也扔掉了。圣经不承认任何不产生顺服的信心。同时也不承认任何非从信心而来的顺服。现代基督徒的问题是想相信而不顺服的问题。
十字架的信息包括：1。相信神在十字架所成就的救恩及与之有关的各种应许；2。顺服各项与之有关的命令。对于一个既成的事实或是一个应许我们需要的是相信，但对于一项命令我们需要的是顺服。我们现在过于强调信心而忽略了顺服。我们这些不正常的基督徒热切的相信一切，但是少有顺服。
神的能力已经为我们预备好了，等待我们能够按照神的方式去支取。神的方式是什么呢？我们只需要去作你所知道应该作的下一件事就好了。如果你的生活中有罪，立刻弃绝它。丢弃属世的娱乐，奢侈，艳装，华居，与一切你所曾对不起的人和好，饶恕一切得罪你的人。开始用你的金银帮助穷人，推进主工，背起十架，过牺牲的生活。祷告，参加聚会，为主作见证，不但在方便的时候，也在一切你觉得应该的时候。不要看代价，不要看结果。研究圣经，找出神的旨意，并且按你所了解的去遵行。
4. 神迹随着犁耙发生
荒地因为没有犁耙的耕耘而不晓得什么是生长，什么是果子。而被开垦的田地，虽然经历改变的痛苦，被掘开，翻起，受伤，破碎，但种子却能生根发芽，成长，结实百倍。照样人生也有两种：荒芜的人生和被犁耕的人生。
荒芜的人生：以过去为满足，无意于教会的复兴，付代价。以为自己生命的成长和神的能力是过去的事，这样的人把自己用篱笆圈起来，把上帝与他的神迹圈在外面。这样的人相信上帝有能力，但不认为上帝会将能力赐给他。
被犁耕的人生：常常悔改认罪，在神面前心完全谦卑，敞开如小孩子。他不以已有的为满足，心中常有新的渴慕。渴望更多的知道神的旨意，并且努力顺服任何他已经知道的神的旨意。神的能力常在这些人的身上显出来。
教会需要勇敢向前，神能力的同在才真实的彰显出来。现在的教会热闹而荒芜，我们有很多的活动，但它们是安全而四平八稳的，没有真正被犁耕的经历。我们每一个人需要有勇敢和真实的信心，奋勇向前。我们必须在各项活动中去运用我们已经相信可以得着的能力。
神在圣经的时代行了各样的神迹奇事，而现在我们却看不见也经历不了呢？ 神是昨日今日直到永远的神，他没有改变，是我们改变了。我们以我们正统的信仰，千遍一律的聚会为满足，我们是与以利亚一样性情的人，我们却没有以利亚的心志。教会和信徒重得能力的唯一道路就是跳出安全的藏身所，而踏上勇敢的顺服之路。那些惧怕犁耙的人已经写下他们的墓志铭，而那些接受和使用犁耙的人，正走在复兴和更新之路上。
5．教义上的拦阻
两个明显的事实：1）普通一般人极少罪的感觉；2）基督徒们过着一种极其属世的生活，对属灵的事不注意，难以把他们与非信徒区分。主要原因是对真理错误的解释。
今日纯正信仰受了反律法主义的深切影响。它的信条是：我们只藉信心得救，工作在救恩中毫无地位，行为是工作，所以不重要。只要我们所信的正确，我们所作的
是无关紧要的。反律法主义把因信称义的教训加以歪曲。反律法主义者尊崇恩典，高举福音，但他们将恩典的教义推至极端。但恩典绝不准我们自由行恶。其实凡对于罪有容许性的一切教训，观念，理论，或事物，都是与神及人的灵魂为敌的。
今日，我们只要求人相信，将基督描绘成一位大能而不苛求的应允祈祷者，大家都乐意接受这样的福音而不肯撇弃一切跟随主。基督变成一种方便有用之物，他必须在我们生命中作王作主的绝对要求，被我们有意无意的忘记了。
今日，我们喜欢把一切的责任推给魔鬼。罪都是由撒旦来的，为什么责备人呢？我们不过是中了魔鬼的奸计，我们犯罪不是我们的意志悖逆神 ，因此我们不必感到内疚，我们只是魔鬼罪恶的牺牲品。这样的教训不可能让我们知罪悔罪，而是自怜而以。让魔鬼为我们自己的悖逆负责是一种致命的自欺。
另一种错误的教训是罪人不是因犯罪而灭亡，乃是因不肯接受主耶稣，最大的罪，而灭亡。其实我们之所以需要救主是因为我们的罪注定我们灭亡。拒绝接受基督不过是更深之罪和不肯悔改的表现。这样的谬误使今日教会缺少道德的力量，减少罪的可怕和可恶。罪被忽略的地方，能力没法流出。
另一种教义上的拦阻是说人的天性软弱，不能遵守神的律法。好像我们必须为了破坏我们所不能遵守的律法而负责。人到底有没有可能讨神喜悦呢？如果不可能，我们就不必负责任，如果可能而不肯，我们就是有罪的。圣经的教训是人必须为自己所犯的罪负责任。人犯罪是因为他们要犯罪。人的问题是，乃是他们所了解的并且能遵行的那一部分神的旨意，都不肯顺从。
我们必须改正对律法的观念。律法的弱点有三：1）它不能消除过去的罪，而使人真正称义，2）它不能使人重生；3）它不能使人成圣。我们不能认为神把我们不能担起的道德责任，放在人的身上，并且因为人没有遵行那不可能遵行的律法而刑罚他们。旧约处处暗示以色列人可能遵守神的律法的，他们犯罪乃是自己故意悖逆。罪的实质是在意志上拒绝遵行神的旨意。我们基督徒要得着能力，我们需要深深的自省和自责，与弃绝罪恶的决心。 教会必须再听见传道人用爱心与流泪的态度来传讲这样的信息。
回复：一個出軌男人與佛的對話
最近在LoganChinese.5d6d.com与人讨论“一個出軌男人與佛的對話”，对话太长没有抄在这里，但下面是我的一些回复。
首先，我们现在对对话作一个简单的总结：故事中的男人，对另外一个女人产生了一种他认为是爱的感觉，并且天真的认为这种感觉会延续他的一生，甚至可能值得他残忍和不道德的对待他的爱人。当然佛后来用三根蜡烛的例子告诉他這種所謂的最後的唯一的愛只是鏡花水月，到頭來終究是一場空，现在认为最亮的蜡烛不一定比自己原来认为最亮的那只亮。
佛认为爱是高于婚姻的（例如男人如果确认找到真爱，可以离，已经没有爱的婚姻是不道德和残忍），爱永远不会失去因为是属于个人而暂时联系于一个具体（男人离不离无所谓，他爱人的爱可以延续到另外一个具体）。如果把对话后面的评论也当作佛的意思的话，佛还认为爱由心生，遇到谁就是谁，只是需珍惜当下。佛好像也建议如果现在的蜡烛不亮，可以到别的地方发现更亮的蜡烛。
男人当然后来在佛的点化下发现一时的感觉不是爱，因为他最后发现他愛的是他現在的愛人。
现在我们来仔细发佛关于爱的哲理。首先申明，下面纯属一己之见，欢迎批评指正。
首先，“爱是高于婚姻的”这个论调很危险。因为我们很难保我们婚姻中时时有爱。佛的“没有爱的婚姻是不道德和残忍的”给所有想出轨的人和离婚提供了理论基础。但虽然我们现在的婚姻中好像没有爱，我们也在外面找到所谓更亮的蜡烛，但我们的良心会控诉我们的不道德和残忍，就象故事的男人一样。当然我们后来发现所谓更亮的蜡烛，也不过尔尔，我们的后悔莫及也会证明这个理论的危险性。顶多只能一时麻痹人的良心。
其次，佛的“爱永远不会失去因为是属于个人而暂时联系于一个具体”的理论是一个乌托邦，不过是自欺欺人。在这点上，男人的看法更靠谱。如果他选择离开，他爱人的痛苦是显然的，虽然以后她还可能找到真爱，但我相信不是一样的，除非她是一个极其自我为中心的人，只顾自己感觉的人。当然这样的话，说爱上了某个人本来就毫无意义，因为她爱上的不过是自己的感觉，跟爱的另外一方毫无关系。
最后，佛的“珍惜当下，蜡烛不亮找更亮的”就不是什么高明哲理了，因为这已经是现代的实践，因为我们务实的认为“不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有”，坚定的相信“东方不亮西方”。记得我国内的朋友曾经告诉我：大家见面常问的就是“离了没有”，用佛的话说就是“找到更亮蜡烛没有”。但我们也清楚的知道这样的理论和实践并没有给我们提供出路，而只是给我们带来的破碎的家庭，彼此的伤害，和慢慢冷却的心。
下面该谈谈我对爱的看法，尤其是与婚姻相关的爱。再次申明一己之见，请批评指正。再者本人是基督徒，观点会受圣经的影响，但不一定完全代表上帝的意思。
婚姻起源于神看见亚当独居不好，就造了一个配偶（夏娃），领她到亚当面前，亚当爱上了她（还记得史上第一肉麻情书：这是我骨中的骨，肉中的肉），于是二人成为一体，开始了人类历史上第一个婚姻与家庭。所以婚姻是上帝亲手设立的，是神圣的，目的是夫妻彼此护持，共走人生路。用圣经的话说就是“一起承受生命之恩”。
应用到我自己身上来说，我的妻子是上帝在冥冥中就已经安排，在合适的时间领到了我的面前，我们产生了爱情，然后结合的。从另外一个角度上说，就象我的出生一样，我没法选择我的父母，时辰，故乡，性别，在我的婚姻中，也不是我真正选择谁是我的配偶，什么时候进入婚姻，在那里结婚，生活。在我们极度世俗化高举个人主义的后现代，我们误认为是自己在设立婚姻，因此也可以随意更改。其实婚姻的真正设立者如此说：但从起初创造的时候、 神造人是造男造女。因此人要离开父母、与妻子连合、二人成为一体。既然如此、夫妻不再是两个人、乃是一体的了。所以 神配合的、人不可分开。
我还记得我与我妻子谈恋爱的时候，电视正放《新白娘子传奇》，主题曲是千年等一回（http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWCBdJ-JgAU，刚去听了一下，还能找到当年的感觉）。当你知道你的爱人是经过千年才等到的，男女双方才能无论是疾病或健康、贫穷或富裕、美貌或失色、顺利或失意，你都愿意爱他（她）、安慰他（她）、尊敬他（她）、保护他（她），并愿意在一生之中对他（她）永远忠心不变！而不是蜡烛不亮的时候，就有别的爱由心生。因为我们的配偶不是芸芸众生中的一个过客，而是那位爱我们怜悯我们，全知全能的上帝在亘古就已经给我预备好的，何止是千年等一回！！
小议科学与信仰
最近有朋友在facebook上问我科学和信仰是否冲突。这是一个很好也是一个很大的问题。我先给一般的回答：信仰并不与科学（至少我所知道的科学）相冲突。科学研究上帝所创造的世界（宇宙万物包括人类），而信仰在乎认识那位创造宇宙万物的上帝。好多我们人看起来的冲突主要有四方面：
1。科学提供了一个解释，但不一定是真正的解释。例如我们有如下题目：2 2=4。中间应该有一个运算符，但因年代久远，已经模糊不清。一个小学一年级的学生会想那一定是+(加号)。而一个高年级学生知道X（乘号）也可以。到底应该是加是乘，只有原来出那道题的人，和曾经清楚看见过这道题的人。进化论可以作为这方面的一个例子。因为人类和历史的起源已经太久远，几乎无据可考。进化论提供了一个解释，圣经提供了解释。但到底是怎么一回事，只有上帝和创世之初的那些人知道。
2。科学只解释了现象，而没有解释本质。例如北京某高校一学生从教学楼楼跳下身亡。科学对这件事的解释也许是，因为重力的缘故，该生从楼上跳下，速度越来越快。到达地面时，冲击力超过身体所能承受的，因而死亡。这种解释虽然正确，但我们显然不满足这种解释，我们更想要知道他/她为什么要往下跳：诸如爱情杯具了，被人鄙视了，等等。我们尝试用科学来解释人生时，通常也进入了这样的误区。
3。我们人容易把科学现在所看到的一些现象绝对化和终极化。其实科学的最宝贵之处在于不断修正自己。例如几千年前我们若读到圣经上说神将大地悬挂在空中，我们会断然说圣经所说的与（当时）科学有冲突。当然我们现今能够进入太空，发现地球真是悬在空中。
4。我们人容易忘记科学的适用领域，一个在某个范围里正确的理论推广到别的领域就不一定了。马克思就作了这样的事，他将达尔文在自然现象里看到的一些进化的现象生硬地推广到人类历史。认为人类历史也是遵行类似的进化模式：我们熟知的从原始社会，封建社会，资本主义社会，社会主义社会，一直到共产主义社会。弄得中国政府不得不把现在中国的资本主义称作有中国特色的社会主义，不然不符合马克思的社会进化论。
有兴趣的朋友也可以看《科学与信仰》对两方面的关系有更详细的了解。网上阅读请到：http://www.fuyinchina.com/n1797c262.aspx
闲话执事
初到教会的人，时常会因一些专业术语而困惑。尤其是一些日常生活中找不到对应的词。今天突发闲心，想考究一下执事这个词，因为不少教会都设立有执事一“职”，权当那些不知道执事是作什么的朋友扫一下盲。
申明：本人看不懂原文圣经，以下考古仅以中文合和本圣经和英文NIV版本圣经为依据。
依据中文合和本圣经，执事这个词总共在圣经中出现23次。首先出现在路加福音4：20，说耶稣读完圣经后把书卷起来、交还执事英文翻译为attendant。第二次出现是在使徒行传21:8,讲说传福音的腓利是那七个执事里的一个，英文里翻译为one of the Seven。也就是指使徒行传第六章里讲的门徒们选出来管理饭食的几个人。接下来有11次（使徒行传26：16， 罗马书12:7, 罗马书15:8,罗马书16：1，哥林多前书3：5，哥林多前书4：1，以弗所3：7，歌罗西书1：23，歌罗西书1：25，提摩太前书3：13，希伯来8：2）执事在NIV英文圣经翻译为servant （或相应的动词serve); 有4次（哥林多后书3：6，歌罗西书1：7，歌罗西书4：7）中文圣经里的执事在英文中翻译为minister,这其中歌罗西书中的两次是与servant同时出现，到底这两个词之间有多少区别就不得而知了;有一次（帖撒罗尼迦前书3：2）在英文圣经里翻译为fellow worker；另有五次(腓立比书1：1,提摩太前3：8，3：10， 3：11，3：12)英文翻译为deacon或deaconesses（女执事）。
从以上数据来看，虽然我不是很清楚minister 或deacon的意思，但执事这个词大多数时侯是指仆人或工人，是应该没有错的，但未什么教会里的执事为什么多数时侯称为deacon就不知道是什么原因了。因此如果你不知道执事是什么意思，也不知deacon是什么意思，就直接把它理解为仆人(servant)或工人(worker)就行了。但我这样说绝对不是要让作执事的弟兄姐妹们羞愧，乃是提醒我们这些在教会中作执事的，本是神派我们作他的仆人，我们也因神的缘故作人的仆人。就如耶稣所说：“在你们中间，谁愿为首，就必作众人的仆人。”因此当我们为神的缘故付出很多，却得不到回报和尊重的时侯，我们不应该计较很多，因为我们本是作仆人的，我们应该像耶稣所说的那样：“这样你们作完了一切所吩咐的，只当说我们是无用的仆人。所作的本是我们应分作的。 ”当我们回想我们荣耀的主耶稣原与至高上帝同尊同荣，却取了我们罪身的形状，来地上服事人，且作多人的赎价时，我们就应该心得安慰，因为这是神要将我们模成他儿子的形状的极佳途径。
在此我也要提醒其他的不是执事的弟兄姐妹们，我们应当敬重他们和效法他们，因为他们在神的家尽忠，为弟兄姐妹的灵魂劳心劳力，为神的国度放下世人所看为贵的尊严，时间，精力，为要得着那更美好的，存到永远的。但愿所有还不是执事的弟兄姐妹们，都羡慕善工，可以有份于服事神和服事人。也愿所有作执事的弟兄姐妹有仆人的心志，无怨无悔地因着上帝的缘故服事人，因为善作执事的，自己就得到美好的地步，并且在基督耶稣里的真道上大有胆量。
1+1=10? 兼谈圣经无误
最近有弟兄姐妹问起：圣经是否完全正确，有些好象自相矛盾的地方怎样理解。我写了1+1=10这个式子来表达我对这个问题的理解。首先我要求大家将自己看到这个式子的第一印象：对还是错记在心里。不用读出式子来，也不用解释为什么你认为对还是错。
等大家都看过之后，我们再一起讨论。有的说是错的，因为一加一等于二；有的说是对的，因为在二进制里一加一等于一零。这两种说法都是对的。因此答案是可能是对的，也是错的，就看你是在描述二进制还是十进制的运算。我个人认为圣经无误，甚至有些自相矛盾的地方也应该从这样的角度去理解。圣经是用人的言语记述神的事情，有些看起来是错的事情是因为我们对神的认识和理解还只停留在十进制阶段。我们需要的是存敬畏的心，求神帮助我们能理解他更多。圣经上说：“认识你独一的真神，并且认识你所差来的耶稣基督，这就是永生。”信主这么多年来，自己最深切的体会是对神的认识实在是太肤浅了。还有一点就是1+1=10作为一个式子有对和错的可能性，但当你读成一加一等于十，它就只能是错的了。因为我们读出来的时侯将式子里的10强行定义为十进制里的十。我有时侯，尤其是还没有信主前，读圣经也是这样，以一个自己熟悉的观念代替圣经里面真实要表达的意思，这有时候能帮助我们理解，但有时候却帮了倒忙，甚至因此得出圣经有些地方是错误的，而阻碍自己来到上帝的面前，却是非常可惜的。因此我自己现在对圣经的态度是，我不能理解的暂时存记在心，相信上帝会逐步带领我认识他更多。上帝在圣经上说：“我的意念非同你们的意念，我的道路非同你们的道路。天怎样高过地，照样我的道路高过你们的道路，我的意念高过你们的意念。”所言极是。
要收的庄稼多
昨天dayton的教会昨天是迎新的BBQ，来了大约200人左右。有好多是新来的学生。对自己的学业事业生活前途充满希望和憧憬，
然而，极少有人关心生命和永恒的问题，也就是10多年前来我来美国的样子的翻版。对于我们这些已经得知神的救恩和尝到永生的滋味的人来说，我们是更希望唤醒他们对上帝的需要和对永恒的追求。求神帮助我们知道怎样带人来到上帝的面前。在Logan的迎新BBQ来临之际，我邀请大家一起来读马太福音9：35-38：
耶稣走遍各城各乡，在会堂里教训人，宣讲天国的福音，又医治各样的病症。他看见许多的人就怜悯他们。因为他们困苦流离，如同羊没有牧人一般。于是对门徒说：“要收的庄稼多，作工的人少；所以你们当求庄稼的主，打发工人出去收他的庄稼。”
我想我们首先要明白人不认识耶稣就如羊没有牧人一样，我现在回想我刚来美国的一年半左右，真是这种景况，并且是非常骄傲的行走在黑暗中，全然不知自己所面临的当灭亡的命运。我们如果能真正认识到我们自己没有认识神之前是困苦流离，如同羊没有牧人一般，我们对我们所面对的新人就会生出如同耶稣一样怜悯的心肠。
其次我们要做的是：祷告上帝能够打发工人出去收他的庄稼。尤其我们需要祷告上帝，让我们有心志，有智慧成为他的工人。
让我们一起为那些失丧的灵魂祷告吧！让我们以下面这首诗歌一起勉励：
http://www.zanmeishi.com/song/view/ODE3Ng==/
在尘世生命崎岖道路中，
多少人困倦悲伤，
黑暗满布，快把真光照亮，
使忧伤者变欢畅；
籍我赐恩福，籍我赐恩福，
籍我生命，彰主荣耀；
籍我赐恩福，救主听我求，
籍我赐恩福，使他人得救。
述说耶稣基督慈爱故事，
述说他赦罪大能；
别人信主要借你去见证，
生活时刻象明灯。
籍我赐恩福，籍我赐恩福，
籍我生命，彰主荣耀；
籍我赐恩福，救主听我求，
籍我赐恩福，使他人得救。
既蒙主供应当白白施与，
当爱人象主爱你；
对软弱无助者尽力帮扶，
要忠于主的托付。
籍我赐恩福，籍我赐恩福，
籍我生命，彰主荣耀；
籍我赐恩福，救主听我求，
籍我赐恩福，使他人得救。
非一般的冊子----關乎審判
下面是我今天到Ashland带查经的大纲，在负责同工提供的大纲基础上修改而成。贴出来与大家分享。
经文:啟20:11-15, 21:3-8
0．破冰:
1。我们小时候读书有一个叫学生手册的东西，每学期期末由学生带回家，里面写什么？重不重要?
2。如果今天是你的80大寿，有人请你发言总结你的一生，你想要怎样的总结？每人一张纸，写“我的一生该这样度过”。
一．地狱与审判：啟20:11-15, 21: 8
1. 想象描述的图画，里面都有什么？
2．你相信人死後是會有另一個世界嗎? 為甚麼?
3. 生命冊是什么？單憑字面,這冊子記載關乎甚麼事情?
4．有沒有試過放榜?(小學,中學,報學校,參加比賽等結果….)當自己的名字在榜上或不在榜上時,有甚麼感受?
5．若將來的人,名字,沒記在冊上,會怎樣?
6. 火湖是甚麼地方? 你認為甚麼人會落火湖? 啟21: 8，罗1：28-32
7.如果诚实地面對自己,我們将是什么结局?
8．什么样的人可以不去地狱？
9．如何将自己的名字记在生命册上？John 3:16; 1 John 1:9; Romans 6:23
二．天堂：啟 21:1-7
1. 天堂又如何? 你心目中的天堂是怎樣的?
2. 聖經21:1-5又怎樣描述天堂?
3. 天堂里有哪些是你最渴望的?
三．人的回应
1.如果有「火湖」與「天堂」給你選擇,你會選擇那個?
2.你有把握进入天堂吗？為甚麼?
3.你願意今天就能确信自己可以进入天堂吗？
How did I become a Christian
Translated from a short speech given to Atlanta Chinese Christian Fellowship.
Warning: as I have always said, it is not appropriate to use man's mind to understand God's behavior. However, if you need a reason to believe, there are many.
I am very honored to share my testimony of Jesus Christ with you. Many people here know that I used to have strong feelings against Christianity. Hence my being a Christian is indeed puzzling for many of my friends.
Some people think that I became a believer because of $150. This not true, but the rumor is based on a true story. It happened in April of last year. A brother who had just become a new believer came to my apartment to share the Gospel with me. He mentioned the power of prayer, which led me to believe a misconception that God will grant you anything, if you will only ask. To stop his lengthy preaching, I said: "OK, I ask God to drop $100 cash at the door of my house." I do not know whether he really prayed for this or not. Anyway, I forgot about it right after I said it. One or two days later (I cannot remember exactly), I received a letter from California, which contained a check for $150 - a gift for me for no obvious reason. Although I do not know whether or not the check was just a coincidence or that God really wanted to use this money to rebuke the nonsense talk of my mouth, I did tell this to the same brother who tried to persuade me to accept Jesus. The reason I remember this story is because one of my friends asked Mingbo (my wife) if it is because of this $150 that I accepted Jesus. In short, the purpose of sharing this trivial story is to clarify that I did not become a Christian for this reason. The Jesus Christ I know is God yesterday, today and forever, and He is a priceless treasure in my life. He is worth infinitely more than $150. Although I do not understand the real reason God allowed this to happen, I do know that my nonsense asking was not a prayer in vain. Although God tells us in His Word: "You do not have, because you do not ask God", He also warns that: "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend what you get on your pleasures".
My wife, Mingbo, speculated that I became a believer because of my car wreck. I believe that they are somehow related. Throughout the whole incident, God did demonstrate his mighty power to protect me. The car was damaged severely, yet my body was unharmed except for only a small scratch on one knee. This incident is what caused me to come to this fellowship group in the first place. I came here, neither for truth nor for comfort, but to accompany my wife. She had been attending this group for some time prior to my accident. Even though I was charged with this accident, she did not blame me at all. I rewarded her forgiveness by coming to the fellowship. I think this is the main reason why she believes that my car wreck caused me to become a believer. During the same time, my past motto "within the whole life time, I am surely able to go as far as I can" (this saying is originally expressed in Chinese as "zi xin ren sheng yi bai nian, hui dang ji shui san qian li") began to be shaken. Actually, even if I can go as far as I can, so what? I can die without any reason in less than one second. Even without a groan, I will go back to the dirt from which I was made. My past life, as steered by myself, had been one without any meaningful purpose, only foolish behavior, wasting gasoline. There is a vivid description of this kind of life in the Scriptures: "All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." I was also deeply impressed by God's work in another matter. The police gave me a citation after the accident. I remembered that the date on the citation was Dec 9, 1999. I would have to show up in court on that day. I also asked my wife to remind me of the court date. In my Sunday school class just before that date (at that time I was a seeker at West Merritts Baptist Church), I asked my Sunday school teachers--Eileen and Larry to pray for my court appointment. On Monday, Eileen emailed me and asked for a specific time and address so that their prayers could also be specific. I was puzzled. Is not God omniscient and omnipresent? Why so specific? However, it is hard to turn down a kind offer. I found my citation paper, and Dec 7th was the date clearly printed on it, which was the very next day. I do not know how I could misremember such an important date because I am pretty confident in my memory. In fact, I can repeat what a political science teacher said in class, right after class. However, this time I was wrong about my memory, but that is not the point. The point is that God helped me to correct this mistake. God used this event to demonstrate to me that I am not reliable, and that only He is dependable, the Rock forever. In summary, God taught me an important and meaningful lesson through this accident. I am not saying, "Blessed are those who are involved in a car accident", but with the help of this experience I am willing to say that, in adversity, it was easier for me to see my powerlessness and weakness. Therefore, adversity is a good time for understanding and accepting God's salvation. In fact, when you feel that you cannot control your life, why not let that one who made life control it? God persuaded me to withdraw from the position of driving my own life to allow him, a more competent driver, to drive my life.
The most important reason for my becoming a Christian is God's revelation. I had a "great" history of enjoying being antichristian. At the time, I had many Christian friends to attack. We usually sat together and debated. I liked to use the Bible to against the Bible. I did not like to ask such questions as "Can God make a stone so big that He Himself can not move?" But rather, I liked to ask some questions Christians would not expect. For example, I once asked, "Why does God like to eat fat". The usual response for this question from most believers is: There is no indication that God likes to do this. I would then point out some verses in Leviticus from which I thought I could draw this conclusion. Usually it was difficult for me to get an answer for such a weird question. I was good at finding tough questions to attack some baby yet zealous Christians. Because of this, it was my feeling then that the Bible was full of mistakes. I was seldom convinced by them to believe, not because they did not make any sense, but because I really did not understand. One night, I was debating with these guys in my dream. I remembered clearly that there was a good verse to rebuke with, but I couldn't find it. I tried everywhere to find it, but the page I was looking for was torn out by the others. I woke up from the dream because of my anxiousness but found that the page was still there. However I could not find my answer on it. The scripture I was looking for was the story of Peter's denying that he knew Jesus three times. I laughed at myself, "Wenbin, you have denied Jesus far more than three times." I began to look inside myself to investigate if I was wrong. A book that has been popular for several thousand years and has been treasured by millions of those who simply believe in God, how can it be full of mistakes? Was the methodology of my investigating wrong? The LORD used this story to show me that the reason I could not understand is because I did not admit that He was my God. The key is to acknowledge Him for who He is, God. It is true that I used to place myself above God, and tried to qualify Him. However, you have to stand under God to understand God. When I placed God into the position He belongs in and read the Bible again, everything changed. That same book, which I thought was full of mistakes and holes, became very precise, trustful and full of truth and principles of life. The Bible, to me, is no longer an ancient book conflicting with itself, but it is the living word of God, and contains all the instructions I need for my present life. There is another point about accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and God that I would like to share. Somebody might say that he/she already lives a very good life without God's help, so it is unnecessary for him/her to admit Jesus is his/her Lord. But God declares in his book: " 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' " Jesus Christ is Lord. This is a fact and truth that cannot be denied or even modified. It is not just when you believe in Jesus that this is true. It is just a matter of time that this will be true. Eventually every one will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, but obviously with different results. If you confess Him now, willingly, you will not "fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." If you choose not to admit Jesus is Lord until the day of Judgment, what is waiting for you is only the burning fire of hell.
OK, the problem of my mind has been resolved. I must now grasp an opportunity to express my faith. To be completely honest, I had made my decision several times. Whenever the preacher called for accepting the Lord, I have held up my hand modestly, even secretly. Although there was no serious struggle in my mind, there was one of my "face" (which is an important concept with Chinese people). At least I have been a "brave" antichrist soldier. Dr. Ye's preaching was excellent, but I was not moved deeply enough to confess Jesus as my savior. When she called for people to confess Jesus as Lord, I thought about not showing my hand. However, I decided that it would not hurt to do it again because I had already done it many times. Who would have thought that this would be my last time to hold up my hand for confessing Jesus as Lord? She was very "crafty." She wanted us to hold up our hands first, then to stand up, and finally to walk out to the front of the sanctuary. Oops, this time it was for real. However, I felt I had no choice. There were so many brothers and sisters from the fellowship watching me. If I saved that "face" I would lose this "face". Mark helped me to make a prayer of confession, and I said good-bye to the prince of darkness and moved into the kingdom of light. Because the Lord says, "For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved". It is not enough to just believe God in your mind, you must believe Him with your heart. God is faithful. He says: "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." But He has many ways to fulfill his promise. It is unnecessary for me to cry dramatically to be saved because it does not "depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy." It is written in the Scripture: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." I hope every one here who has been convicted in his/her heart and is looking for an opportunity to know more about God can learn something from my experience. God is always ready and always standing outside your house and knocking. Why not invite Him into your heart today? If you do not know how to make such an invitation, I am sure every Christian here would feel honored to help you to do so.
Another problem I had to deal with was baptism. Usually, people will ask you first: have you believed? Then, have you been baptized? In practice, baptism seems to most people a more difficult step to take. If you tell others that you have been baptized already, they will get surprised and exclaim, "You must have many testimonies". Although I cried several times because I felt I am not worthy of God's grace, and I hurt in my heart because I know if it had not been for my sins, Jesus Christ would not have been nailed to the cross. However, this is the reason why I got baptized. I believe that baptism is the result and requirement of my believing. Unfortunately, it took me six months to understand this. I was bargaining with God during that time from my prayer of confession to baptism. OK, God, I have put my trust in you now. You should show yourself to me now. Although I am not blind, lame or even sick, you should at least touch me or speak near my ears to let me know that what I have believed is true. I even used a sentence from a song to validate my requirement, "Just like the wind, the love, if you have experienced it, you will not ask whether it exists or not". Of course, at that time, I defined experiencing God as seeing Him or hearing from Him. Just as in my struggle to know God, He used many ways to tell me that, although I had confessed Jesus Christ as the lord of my life, I was still my own master when it came to baptism. In fact, Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist to "fulfill all righteousness". When he left, Jesus said to His disciples "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the very end of the age." He did not say "when they are ready or wait for me to appear to them then baptize them". The Lord also said to Thomas "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believe." I really wished that I could have asked my pastor as the Ethiopian eunuch asked Phillip "Look, here is water, why shouldn't I get baptized?" Once I understood that baptism was the command of our Lord and also a testimony of my obedience, I walked to the pool to be baptized into His death and buried with Him that I too may live a new life.
In summary, the reason I became a Christian was because of the Lord's revelation, my own personal experience in my life and my understanding of God's salvation. God revealed to me that I could seek Him and understand Him humbly. The adversity in my life enabled me to criticize my own life and discover that I am powerless and sinful and that I had need of God. At the same time, my understanding of Jesus Christ as "the way, the truth, and the life" enables me to stand steadfast in faith, trust Jesus alone as my Savior, seek God's way persistently and live as He commanded.
Thanks due to Larry for helping me correct English mistakes
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