How did I become a Christian

Translated from a short speech given to Atlanta Chinese Christian Fellowship.

Warning: as I have always said, it is not appropriate to use man's mind to understand God's behavior. However, if you need a reason to believe, there are many.


I am very honored to share my testimony of Jesus Christ with you. Many people here know that I used to have strong feelings against Christianity. Hence my being a Christian is indeed puzzling for many of my friends.

Some people think that I became a believer because of $150. This not true, but the rumor is based on a true story. It happened in April of last year. A brother who had just become a new believer came to my apartment to share the Gospel with me. He mentioned the power of prayer, which led me to believe a misconception that God will grant you anything, if you will only ask. To stop his lengthy preaching, I said: "OK, I ask God to drop $100 cash at the door of my house." I do not know whether he really prayed for this or not. Anyway, I forgot about it right after I said it. One or two days later (I cannot remember exactly), I received a letter from California, which contained a check for $150 - a gift for me for no obvious reason. Although I do not know whether or not the check was just a coincidence or that God really wanted to use this money to rebuke the nonsense talk of my mouth, I did tell this to the same brother who tried to persuade me to accept Jesus. The reason I remember this story is because one of my friends asked Mingbo (my wife) if it is because of this $150 that I accepted Jesus. In short, the purpose of sharing this trivial story is to clarify that I did not become a Christian for this reason. The Jesus Christ I know is God yesterday, today and forever, and He is a priceless treasure in my life. He is worth infinitely more than $150. Although I do not understand the real reason God allowed this to happen, I do know that my nonsense asking was not a prayer in vain. Although God tells us in His Word: "You do not have, because you do not ask God", He also warns that: "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend what you get on your pleasures".

My wife, Mingbo, speculated that I became a believer because of my car wreck. I believe that they are somehow related. Throughout the whole incident, God did demonstrate his mighty power to protect me. The car was damaged severely, yet my body was unharmed except for only a small scratch on one knee. This incident is what caused me to come to this fellowship group in the first place. I came here, neither for truth nor for comfort, but to accompany my wife. She had been attending this group for some time prior to my accident. Even though I was charged with this accident, she did not blame me at all. I rewarded her forgiveness by coming to the fellowship. I think this is the main reason why she believes that my car wreck caused me to become a believer. During the same time, my past motto "within the whole life time, I am surely able to go as far as I can" (this saying is originally expressed in Chinese as "zi xin ren sheng yi bai nian, hui dang ji shui san qian li") began to be shaken. Actually, even if I can go as far as I can, so what? I can die without any reason in less than one second. Even without a groan, I will go back to the dirt from which I was made. My past life, as steered by myself, had been one without any meaningful purpose, only foolish behavior, wasting gasoline. There is a vivid description of this kind of life in the Scriptures: "All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." I was also deeply impressed by God's work in another matter. The police gave me a citation after the accident. I remembered that the date on the citation was Dec 9, 1999. I would have to show up in court on that day. I also asked my wife to remind me of the court date. In my Sunday school class just before that date (at that time I was a seeker at West Merritts Baptist Church), I asked my Sunday school teachers--Eileen and Larry to pray for my court appointment. On Monday, Eileen emailed me and asked for a specific time and address so that their prayers could also be specific. I was puzzled. Is not God omniscient and omnipresent? Why so specific? However, it is hard to turn down a kind offer. I found my citation paper, and Dec 7th was the date clearly printed on it, which was the very next day. I do not know how I could misremember such an important date because I am pretty confident in my memory. In fact, I can repeat what a political science teacher said in class, right after class. However, this time I was wrong about my memory, but that is not the point. The point is that God helped me to correct this mistake. God used this event to demonstrate to me that I am not reliable, and that only He is dependable, the Rock forever. In summary, God taught me an important and meaningful lesson through this accident. I am not saying, "Blessed are those who are involved in a car accident", but with the help of this experience I am willing to say that, in adversity, it was easier for me to see my powerlessness and weakness. Therefore, adversity is a good time for understanding and accepting God's salvation. In fact, when you feel that you cannot control your life, why not let that one who made life control it? God persuaded me to withdraw from the position of driving my own life to allow him, a more competent driver, to drive my life.

The most important reason for my becoming a Christian is God's revelation. I had a "great" history of enjoying being antichristian. At the time, I had many Christian friends to attack. We usually sat together and debated. I liked to use the Bible to against the Bible. I did not like to ask such questions as "Can God make a stone so big that He Himself can not move?" But rather, I liked to ask some questions Christians would not expect. For example, I once asked, "Why does God like to eat fat". The usual response for this question from most believers is: There is no indication that God likes to do this. I would then point out some verses in Leviticus from which I thought I could draw this conclusion. Usually it was difficult for me to get an answer for such a weird question. I was good at finding tough questions to attack some baby yet zealous Christians. Because of this, it was my feeling then that the Bible was full of mistakes. I was seldom convinced by them to believe, not because they did not make any sense, but because I really did not understand. One night, I was debating with these guys in my dream. I remembered clearly that there was a good verse to rebuke with, but I couldn't find it. I tried everywhere to find it, but the page I was looking for was torn out by the others. I woke up from the dream because of my anxiousness but found that the page was still there. However I could not find my answer on it. The scripture I was looking for was the story of Peter's denying that he knew Jesus three times. I laughed at myself, "Wenbin, you have denied Jesus far more than three times." I began to look inside myself to investigate if I was wrong. A book that has been popular for several thousand years and has been treasured by millions of those who simply believe in God, how can it be full of mistakes? Was the methodology of my investigating wrong? The LORD used this story to show me that the reason I could not understand is because I did not admit that He was my God. The key is to acknowledge Him for who He is, God. It is true that I used to place myself above God, and tried to qualify Him. However, you have to stand under God to understand God. When I placed God into the position He belongs in and read the Bible again, everything changed. That same book, which I thought was full of mistakes and holes, became very precise, trustful and full of truth and principles of life. The Bible, to me, is no longer an ancient book conflicting with itself, but it is the living word of God, and contains all the instructions I need for my present life. There is another point about accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and God that I would like to share. Somebody might say that he/she already lives a very good life without God's help, so it is unnecessary for him/her to admit Jesus is his/her Lord. But God declares in his book: " 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' " Jesus Christ is Lord. This is a fact and truth that cannot be denied or even modified. It is not just when you believe in Jesus that this is true. It is just a matter of time that this will be true. Eventually every one will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, but obviously with different results. If you confess Him now, willingly, you will not "fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life." If you choose not to admit Jesus is Lord until the day of Judgment, what is waiting for you is only the burning fire of hell.

OK, the problem of my mind has been resolved. I must now grasp an opportunity to express my faith. To be completely honest, I had made my decision several times. Whenever the preacher called for accepting the Lord, I have held up my hand modestly, even secretly. Although there was no serious struggle in my mind, there was one of my "face" (which is an important concept with Chinese people). At least I have been a "brave" antichrist soldier. Dr. Ye's preaching was excellent, but I was not moved deeply enough to confess Jesus as my savior. When she called for people to confess Jesus as Lord, I thought about not showing my hand. However, I decided that it would not hurt to do it again because I had already done it many times. Who would have thought that this would be my last time to hold up my hand for confessing Jesus as Lord? She was very "crafty." She wanted us to hold up our hands first, then to stand up, and finally to walk out to the front of the sanctuary. Oops, this time it was for real. However, I felt I had no choice. There were so many brothers and sisters from the fellowship watching me. If I saved that "face" I would lose this "face". Mark helped me to make a prayer of confession, and I said good-bye to the prince of darkness and moved into the kingdom of light. Because the Lord says, "For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved". It is not enough to just believe God in your mind, you must believe Him with your heart. God is faithful. He says: "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." But He has many ways to fulfill his promise. It is unnecessary for me to cry dramatically to be saved because it does not "depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy." It is written in the Scripture: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." I hope every one here who has been convicted in his/her heart and is looking for an opportunity to know more about God can learn something from my experience. God is always ready and always standing outside your house and knocking. Why not invite Him into your heart today? If you do not know how to make such an invitation, I am sure every Christian here would feel honored to help you to do so.

Another problem I had to deal with was baptism. Usually, people will ask you first: have you believed? Then, have you been baptized? In practice, baptism seems to most people a more difficult step to take. If you tell others that you have been baptized already, they will get surprised and exclaim, "You must have many testimonies". Although I cried several times because I felt I am not worthy of God's grace, and I hurt in my heart because I know if it had not been for my sins, Jesus Christ would not have been nailed to the cross. However, this is the reason why I got baptized. I believe that baptism is the result and requirement of my believing. Unfortunately, it took me six months to understand this. I was bargaining with God during that time from my prayer of confession to baptism. OK, God, I have put my trust in you now. You should show yourself to me now. Although I am not blind, lame or even sick, you should at least touch me or speak near my ears to let me know that what I have believed is true. I even used a sentence from a song to validate my requirement, "Just like the wind, the love, if you have experienced it, you will not ask whether it exists or not". Of course, at that time, I defined experiencing God as seeing Him or hearing from Him. Just as in my struggle to know God, He used many ways to tell me that, although I had confessed Jesus Christ as the lord of my life, I was still my own master when it came to baptism. In fact, Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist to "fulfill all righteousness". When he left, Jesus said to His disciples "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the very end of the age." He did not say "when they are ready or wait for me to appear to them then baptize them". The Lord also said to Thomas "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believe." I really wished that I could have asked my pastor as the Ethiopian eunuch asked Phillip "Look, here is water, why shouldn't I get baptized?" Once I understood that baptism was the command of our Lord and also a testimony of my obedience, I walked to the pool to be baptized into His death and buried with Him that I too may live a new life.

In summary, the reason I became a Christian was because of the Lord's revelation, my own personal experience in my life and my understanding of God's salvation. God revealed to me that I could seek Him and understand Him humbly. The adversity in my life enabled me to criticize my own life and discover that I am powerless and sinful and that I had need of God. At the same time, my understanding of Jesus Christ as "the way, the truth, and the life" enables me to stand steadfast in faith, trust Jesus alone as my Savior, seek God's way persistently and live as He commanded.

Thanks due to Larry for helping me correct English mistakes